Today I learned I should never go shopping in a post-operative/pre-menstrual state as it only leads to wild spending. Well, not as wild in the way of Ms Hilton you understand but sufficiently wild for someone who really should save up to buy pop-socks. The worst part is I have come home with a bag of un-coveted Estee Lauder skin care products which wouldn't be so bad but for the fact that I had actually nipped out for a bag of bagels. Honestly you would have thought the women at the cosmetic counter had just averted a major international crisis the way they sighed with relief when I allowed them to point their skin-defence missile mirrors at my 'dry, non-elasticised' skin. In my defence I don't think I looked that bad but for them I was on the brink of a major disaster and only a lovely pink bag full of assorted creams could save me from ... myself - I guess!!. The funny thing is - as they primped my face with creams, foundation, powders, eyeliners, lipstick and blush - I knew exactly what they were doing. I knew where this was heading and yet I was powerless to stop them.
I know why it happened though.
I am an excellent self-shrink.
It's because I feel like a stumpy elf right now. A feeling which has been brought about by the fact that since my little operation ( and yes it really was little apart from the depressing bit where my doctor said 'come back in 3 weeks to see if we need to do more') I have had to wear a compression bandage followed by compression tights followed by normal leggings to keep said tights up which leads to a rather stumpy effect when one wears dresses and moon boots. And I realise calling myself a stumpy elf does not aid my inner self-talk which in turn leads to Estee Lauder bag purchases when a bag of bagels would have probably equally sufficed.
stumpy elf appearance as there is nothing either stumpy nor that elfish about it ( apart from the ears maybe) but it's the best I could do on short notice.
I wonder what my Estee ladies would think of that - heh heh.