Thursday, 20 April 2017


When Three Paw lived in Istanbul and had moved into the apartment with me, she used to love standing with her head out the window sniffing the air. She would point her nose to the sun and I could hear her taking long snifts that went deep into her lungs. I saw her doing it in the garden the other day. I wonder if she was trying to catch a sea breeze.
What I hope is that she didn't catch the smell of open drain! Yes, my friends, the rain of life muck continues to fall on me with relentless abandon. You see all Easter weekend I had no functioning toilet and then finally when  the plumber came to fix it he promptly broke the tiles around  the drain outside so now I have a fly-infested hole on my terrace. It will be fixed - Italian time, I suppose - but it just seems never ending. The worst part is that I have to pay the plumber now. My landlord has agreed to cover half the costs but she said to take it out of my next rent. I appreciate her offer to go halves but when you are on a serious cash-flow problem it is hard to do things this way. Now the budget I had to last for three weeks has been reduced by two thirds to an almost negligible amount. It is official, I cannot afford to live here. I don't mean in my particular house, it is actually a good deal. I just mean in general. I need to buy a tent and set up in a field somewhere until I stop hemorrhaging money I don't even have. Of course, this is not going to happen while Three Paw and I are on her journey but even that aside, living here is a disaster that has no visible end. Not that anywhere else would probably be much better. Not as an ESL teacher anyway. Is it time to consider Saudi Arabia? Surely not yet. I would like to change careers but what could I do? I would like to publish my novel but that is in no man's land right now. I would like to go to bed just one night without feeling panic-stricken and worried about everything.

Uff, sorry, rant over.  I know that by having a roof over my head and pasta in my cupboard I really am in the fortunate percentage of the world. I really do understand this. One look at the television and the plight of Syrian children is more than enough to give me perspective.

But it is still hard. Am I allowed to admit that, despite the world's problems? I think I need to acknowledge this struggle instead of sweeping it under the carpet or trivializing it somehow.

But let's end this cathartic outpouring with an amusing picture of my snooping neighbour!!

I don't actually think that he is interested in me. I think it is Three Paw's yoga poses that enthrall him more.

Or her games of peek-a-boo!!

See, I feel better already.

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