Things I know...

So tonight is the last night I will sleep in my apartment.
I don't actually officially leave until the end of the month but as my bed is going tomorrow I might as well follow it.

I'm not sure how I feel about leaving this place. It's certainly been a haven at times but it has also been a hell. I know I didn't move into it at my happiest and I am not leaving it at my happiest either but I hope, at least, there were some moments of happiness somewhere in between.
What I do know though from living in this apartment is the following:
* Don't run out of toilet paper * Don't get undressed by the open window - if you can see the doctors in their scrubs they can see you too! * If you close the lid on the cereal box it really will last longer and be less weevilly!! * The floor can be a very beautiful place.
* When in doubt or pain take a bath - add lots of bubbles for extra cushioning or to muffle sound.* Don't let people who haven't found their peace yet take yours instead! * Always be nice to Abdullah the elevator - he picks you up no matter the weather! * Screw-top wine is better for a laydee on her own - those pesky corks get stuck sometimes! * Never (again)  live in a place where you can see your work desk from your bed! * Don't leave transparent plastic A4 sheets on slippery wooden floors.*If you leave cat litter trays, plant pots, incense sticks, (anything really) on the window ledge the wind will steal it!* always hang a crazy blue chandelier in the middle of your room.

Eternity

I was recently told that when find yourself vividly remembering a  moment in your past - and you feel like you are really there -and your skin feels like its there -and your heart feels like its there - that this is what eternity is. That time is not linear but it circles round and round  and these moments that you step into exist out there all the time - that you are always there! I suppose such a principle applies equally to good and bad moments which is why the mind tries to block out the bad ones!
I like this idea of eternity though. I had such a moment last week in class. I found myself thinking of a moment in my past ( bad teacher!! I should have been giving my full attention to that pesky grammar fiend the present perfect) and literally I was there. In fact I had quite a shock when I landed back in the classroom again - in just my underpants and a pair of socks! Ok no socks! and no I wasn't fottaging a rock star again!!
       Anyway I am trusting that the current pain of moving house is not going to be trapped in eternity as well. This would not be a good place to return to. I am getting there slowly but it is painful and I hate it and my lovely apartment now looks like a shell with is soul ripped out of it. Well almost all of its soul as crazy blue chandelier  is still hanging on the ceiling like a tiny star watching over me.

la fottage

So last Tuesday night I groped a passing rock star. Actually I prefer the word fottage! I was first taught about the world fottaging by a very posh sounding fellow called Stewart S when I worked in London for a telecommunications company.  In fact I mentioned the practice on my blog a few years ago but for those not au fait it basically  means to accidentally (but purposelessly) caress another person as they are passing. Usually La Fottage is the domain of the man and can be seen at its purest when he reaches over for the peanuts, his coat,  documents (anything really) and his hand accidentally brushes a woman's breast as he passes. Sometimes he apologises (Pardon me but I believe I may have just fottaged you on my way over to the biscuits) but other times it passes without reference ( but always noticed!)
Anyway now I too have scaled the heights of fottaging and I am feeling quite smug about it really.
Actually, truth be told,  I had little choice. He was heading straight for me so it was more of a case of  "helping" him on his way pass - you know checking his keys were still in the back pocket of his jeans (they weren't).  Ok maybe his front pockets ( still no keys!) Alright what about  pinned to his chest (no luck there either!)  Of course I can't name the rockstar as a lady never tells but he was very fit although a  little shorter than my dreams had led me to believe.