Blocked

The other day I wrote a 3 page end-of-course report about my IELTS group. Three Pages! I am obviously channeling my writing energy in the wrong direction. Actually, I know I am. I am so stuck creatively right now it  hurts my heart when I can't think of how to put words together anymore. I have read the usual 'writer's block' stuff and I actually agree that the best thing you can do is write your way through it ( Heh maybe I should look at my epic IELTS report as a Julia Cameron 'Artist's Way' writing exercise) but it still doesn't solve that broken feeling inside of me that the words have all gone. If I am honest, they have never really found their home here in Istanbul and I think I have got a little lost while I have been here.   But you know Istanbul is a hard city.  It is draining and glorious and soul-sucking and wonderful. It is hard to carve a space between all the demands she makes and yet I cannot blame her all for this.

What I hope above all is
that some how I am reaping.
Silently,
unconsciously,
reaping stories from her streets that will suddenly, magnificently, burst from my heart
and I will wonder how I could ever have felt so blocked.