la fottage

So last Tuesday night I groped a passing rock star. Actually I prefer the word fottage! I was first taught about the world fottaging by a very posh sounding fellow called Stewart S when I worked in London for a telecommunications company.  In fact I mentioned the practice on my blog a few years ago but for those not au fait it basically  means to accidentally (but purposelessly) caress another person as they are passing. Usually La Fottage is the domain of the man and can be seen at its purest when he reaches over for the peanuts, his coat,  documents (anything really) and his hand accidentally brushes a woman's breast as he passes. Sometimes he apologises (Pardon me but I believe I may have just fottaged you on my way over to the biscuits) but other times it passes without reference ( but always noticed!)
Anyway now I too have scaled the heights of fottaging and I am feeling quite smug about it really.
Actually, truth be told,  I had little choice. He was heading straight for me so it was more of a case of  "helping" him on his way pass - you know checking his keys were still in the back pocket of his jeans (they weren't).  Ok maybe his front pockets ( still no keys!) Alright what about  pinned to his chest (no luck there either!)  Of course I can't name the rockstar as a lady never tells but he was very fit although a  little shorter than my dreams had led me to believe.