tiny seeds

Yesterday it was very hot in Basel. All my students panted like dogs in the classroom as they watched a rather dispirited Joanna Show ( in my opinion anyway.) Even though it is summer outside I believe right now I am still in winter. I know there are tiny seeds in me waiting to bloom but I need the winter to pass. I need to grow my plants.
Maybe Greece will bring me some welcome sun but right now I don't feel like being there at all.  I don't see my trip to Greece as some sort of bold step towards my path -  I believe I am still far too lost for that. The Greece trip I believe is my way of trying to save my life. When I say save my life I don't mean it in some sort of melodramatic triple-by pass kind of  way. I am in reasonably good health and I am grateful every day for this.  But my soul is in deep crisis and I believe somehow it needs to be saved.